Of Hats And Caps

In this sainted land of overarching consumerism and an unrelenting era of abundance, it is not difficult to understand why people unwittingly become collectors of stuff. Thus, even if bereft of any crazed proclivities an Imelda Marcos would find casual and natural, items fall into one’s lap in great heap-full quantities especially consumer items that come in differing styles, colors, designs, shapes, etc. And reaching sufficient critical mass, they rightly then could be adjudged as collections. Whether they are shoes, cars, hats, cosmetics, accessories, toys, sports items, matchbooks, etc.

Since a lot of ladies, and I suppose men, too, are fond of personal accessories, we hear how good fortunes are spent on them not only for daily usage but also as prized “collections”. Thus collections of expensive and exquisite perfumes, exorbitantly prized hand-made designer handbags, different shades of lipsticks, etc. do not anymore raise many eyebrows. And imagine what good-sized fortunes are spent to collect either antique or just plain expensive cars? We read that the initial design of Bill Gates’ mansion had a garage that could accommodate 89-100 cars and that was just the initial design in a now completed house that had to undergo so many changes and additions that if they were cosmetic facelifts you would not recognize the finished product.

But anyway, the subject is collections, whether so designed and intended, or simply because one ends up with so many pieces of one item that it then becomes a collection. Let’s talk then about caps and hats. It is almost always when one decides to move to another location after dwelling in one place for a considerable amount of time that one realizes the extent of one’s “holdings” on certain things, whether considered valuable, useful, or not on both.


So proceeded I did to take stock of one such item – hats and caps. Cramped into one carton box in the spare room, I laid them out on the floor to be surprised to realize there were 40 of them – of varying shapes and colors, of different logos and purposes, and I suppose of different fits. One looks like the old railroad cap of yore one sees on old Western movies, others used primarily as visors against the sun, and the rest you wear identifying your favorite teams or government agencies. And one, my favorite, is a real cowboy hat in black, though a little too tight for my fit. And I do hereby declare that of this entire menagerie, it is the only one that I bought with my own money, a used one and bought at a flea market at that. The rest just happened to float around and end up at home, or in other words, given, left behind, or gifted.

But I knew there should be more around the house. Spotted a stray one prominently displayed on the dashboard of the truck parked in the garage. Next stop was the shed where bikes repose and found 4 more tightly bunched in a little leftover space. Thus the final tally scored 45. And wouldn’t you say that given that number that this could qualify as a collection?









Now let me see, it would take me over a year (450 days) to wear each one ten times assuming I wear a hat/cap everyday. Not too bad compared to a comparison with Imelda’s shoes. A similar estimate was made on her shoe “collection”. The unabashed conclusion was that she would have to wear out her feet before she could try all her shoes and walk on them – just for one time.

Now let me tell you about T-shirts, sleeveless or with sleeves, used or brand-new. And the initial dilemma would be: where do I begin? And please not counting those already disposed or given over time.

Can I include this bike helmet as another head covering?